Faith Deconstruction Therapy
IN WOODINVILLE & ACROSS WASHINGTON
Find freedom to walk your path
You used to feel at home in your faith.
Now you feel like a stranger in a strange land.
When the things that used to seem solid and true no longer feel that way because you’re not sure what you believe anymore, it can feel like the ground under your feet is giving way.
Startling. Disorienting. Frightening.
It can be alarming to realize that now you’re not so sure about something you once put your trust in.
It can be confusing and scary when your internal world no longer feels familiar and safe, and instead all you find are questions.
And it can be overwhelming to manage all the questions about these questions –
When will they stop?
Is it ok to ask this one?
…what about this one?
How far is too far?
What will happen if I keep asking them?
What answer am I even hoping for?
What answer am I afraid of?
Navigating life while you’re trying to figure out what to do with all these questions is exhausting.
You’re tired, confused, irritated, anxious, worried, and underneath it all – afraid. You’ve wrestled with your doubts enough times and found no lasting relief, so now you tend to avoid even picking them up. You’ve taken to skirting around the edges of your own mind.
It’s painful to feel cut off from yourself.
The disconnection isn’t just inside your head, either.
You feel it in your body…
You notice a tightness or the feeling of a heavy weight on your chest. Or your stomach feels queasy (like your gut literally knows you’re not on stable ground), or you’re not sleeping as well, or you notice headaches or jaw tension throughout the day.
You see it in your relationships…
You used to welcome deep conversations about your faith, but these days you work hard to shut them down or avoid the topic entirely. You feel nervous and conflicted in your relationships with friends and family. In conversations you wonder if you’re two-faced; what felt honest when you spoke yesterday now seems like a mask you were wearing.
You worry about it in your work…
If you’re in leadership in ministry, you also may be feeling guilty and hypocritical – how can you help others when you’re so confused yourself?
It’s scary to feel like a stranger to yourself, your relationships, and maybe even your calling.
Helping you find your path towards meaning, confidence, and joy.
What presently feels like a crisis may in fact be an invaluable opportunity.
You may in fact be holding an invitation from your life to embark on a journey that will take you deep into your longing and offer honest connection with yourself, with the world, and with genuine joy. If you accept this invitation, you can:
Find stable ground and wholeness in a faith or spirituality that resonates with you and guides you to create a life that is deeply meaningful and fulfilling.
Discover abiding confidence in yourself and trust in your experiences that enable you to remain open and hopeful in the face of an unknown future and all the trials it holds.
Find peace in your body, and make ease and rest your default in place of tension and anxiety.
Experience belonging, acceptance, and connection in authentic relationships that are supportive and life-giving.
Connect to the good work you are called to do in the world and live with integrity.
I’ll put my cards on the table and say that I’m pretty stoked about this invitation for you.
Of course, this is your journey to either accept or decline (even if at this point it feels like life’s thrown you into it regardless of your wishes). If you do choose to accept it, I can come alongside and offer therapy as a space dedicated to helping you give your journey the attention it deserves.
This looks like having time devoted every week to sitting down and getting honest with yourself – saying the things you haven’t been able to say, naming your biggest questions, nagging fears, doubts, confusions, hopes, loves – in a therapeutic relationship that is nonjudgmental, open, and committed to helping you navigate your path forward.
This work is not quick or easy, and it requires a lot of courage. But as you get going, you’ll find relief from the anxiety and confusion and build confidence in yourself and your path.
Sound like what you suspect you’ve been needing?
If so, here’s how we journey:
I use curiosity, compassion, and my knowledge of church culture and faith journeying to help you along your way.
In our time together, I’ll lead with questions to guide us to explore and better understand your world. I’ll invite you to be curious too, and our discoveries will give you new understandings and perspectives towards your life. I’ll support you in taking the space you need to pull things apart, put them back together, and try on different ways of looking at things, as many times as it takes for you to find what fits.
You’ll uncover what is most significant to you, and we will work together to help you make sense of your past, find peace and freedom in your present, and look forward to your future.
Therapy for religious deconstruction can help you:
Understand the religious, family, and cultural influences in your life.
Process painful memories so you can move forward.
Build healthy boundaries with people and organizations.
Understand and make peace with your emotions.
Create relationships that support and encourage you.
Have compassion towards yourself and your story, including the parts that you feel regret or shame about.
Clarify what you think, feel, and believe.
Build confidence and trust in yourself.
Your journey awaits. Are you ready to accept your invitation and begin?
Frequently asked questions about therapy for faith deconstruction:
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Religious deconstruction (also called faith deconstruction) broadly refers to the process of questioning and reexamining one’s held beliefs, often while learning more about the history and context of one’s faith tradition. This process for some is largely intellectual, while for others it also includes significant personal experiences and core relationships. It can result in a change in belief, rejection of previously held belief, or reattachment to previous beliefs in new ways. (For the philosophy geeks out there, there’s general consensus that this term was coopted from Jacques Derrida’s philosophical concept of deconstruction.)
In the US, deconstruction is closely related to the exvangelical and purity culture recovery movements, all of which have surged in the past two decades, as many people raised in late 20th-century evangelical subculture have started examining and questioning these traditions. Cultural, political, and developmental factors have all contributed to the unique rise in deconstruction we’re witnessing today.
The deconstruction community today is broad and diverse. It spans a vast scope of journeys, and members have arrived at a wide range of conclusions regarding faith, spirituality, and meaning. Common to the community is a commitment to honor each person’s experience as valid and respect each person’s process and conclusions about what is right for them. Mental health advocacy, trauma awareness, justice, and inclusion are core themes across various deconstruction advocacy groups. -
I’m glad you asked! If you’ve experienced being subjected to others’ agendas (explicit or hidden) in religious settings, you know how it feels to not really be listened to and to not have what’s important to you acknowledged.
When it comes to what you believe and practice and where your deconstruction journey takes you, whether you participate in organized religion or a particular faith tradition or alternate spirituality practices or something else entirely or nothing at all – I have zero agenda for you. None. Making space where you can actually get moving on your unique path where you can discover what is most important to you – that’s my agenda, and I don’t need (or want) to hide it.
My theological training has equipped me with extensive understanding of the history, structures, dynamics, and logic of Christian faith. It’s also helped expose me to many others’ experiences across various traditions and denominations. This knowledge may be helpful as you make sense of your experience. Additionally, my training and resources may be useful to you if theological inquiry is part of your journey. -
I grew up in the church. I went to youth group, taught Sunday School, participated in mission trips, studied apologetics and debated with my public school teachers, and served in leadership in college ministries. My formative years happened in evangelical church culture, and I know this culture well. In adulthood, I walked with friends and family through doubts, questions, purity culture shame, religious trauma, spiritual abuse, deconstruction, and faith transitions. I have journeyed through many of these experiences in my own life. This territory is familiar to me because I’ve walked it myself and alongside others. I have the lay of the land.
And I’ve witnessed firsthand how incredibly lonely it can be. There is not a place for people to voice these very real, very heavy experiences. There isn’t a place to say the honest question out loud or say that the thing that was said from the pulpit or in small group doesn’t sit right. There isn’t space to wonder if the way you learned something is the only way to think about it, to consider other views together. There often isn’t space to show up as yourself. The list goes on. So many people suffer alone. And that just doesn’t work for me. We deserve better. You deserve better.
Many therapists don’t understand church culture or the ways it can be remarkably wonderful or the ways it can be uniquely painful. I’m a trained therapist and I know this space. I’m here to support you so you can take the next step on your path, wherever it may take you. -
If you think that therapy for faith deconstruction is the right fit for you (or if you’re not sure and want to learn more), your next step is to reach out and schedule a free 20-minute consultation. We will talk about what you’re experiencing and how I may be able to help! Ready? If so, click “Let’s Get Started!” above!